Notes of Interest

1. This man emailed me his manuscript from dogcountry@htn.net and asked for help. I critiqued the first two chapters and sent them to him. He came back with this: Thought you might like this compliment from my daughter: I wonder how long you sat there just looking at your manuscript. (That was funny picturing you.) I see the corrections Walker made. This is Chapter 2, right?  It sounds like a good opening chapter.[WJJ advised he switch Chapter 1 and 2.] These are good suggestions: It IS important to always use active voice with the verbs( and that example of the rain pounding is perfect--active makes it more immediate and close), and to use specific details and concrete nouns. And to make sure all your "he's" have references. I liked the way he reworked the first paragraph--ending with that remark about the Bermuda Triangle (good specific there and a little foreshadowing of possible trouble). This kind of reworking is actually what I like to do. (Visit my Forum The Gathering Place for Writers. I'll be pleased to put my slant on one chapter of yours. But, be advised that my criticisms can be harsh as well as kind: every work has some merit.